A Vegan Called Bacon

How fair and how pleasant art thou, O Marmite, for delights:

I can’t imagine life without Marmite. When I was away from the UK for a year, I took enough supplies of Marmite to last me the whole time.  Marmite is a peculiarly British shibboleth.  I’d produce it at breakfast, people would ask what it was, I would give them a taste, and usually, they would recoil in horror.

For the uninitiated: Marmite is dark, dark brown; sticky like treacle; and tastes mainly of salt, with spices and yeastiness thrown in.  It’s also full of Vitamin B12, that Achilles Heel of vegan nutrition.

Here’s what I consider the correct way of eating Marmite:

• Bread selection.  Either a fairly thinly sliced, nutty brown bread, or a thickly sliced, fresh white loaf.
• Toasting.  The level of browning needs to be moderately high, to a medium leather colour.  We want the toast to be crispy on the outside, but still a little moist on the inside.
  
• Initial cooling.  Wait for about 10 seconds before you start spreading, holding the toast vertically so that it doesn’t accumulate moisture as the steam from the toast condenses on a plate.  We wait a short while to ensure that some of the butter doesn’t melt.
• Buttering.  Fairly generous amounts of your favourite vegan butter substitute.  Allow the butter to melt with the toast still held away from the plate.  We want plenty of grease to melt into the toast, but we want some of it to remain on the surface, where it will mix with the Marmite.  I usually have it like this, but it’s also good with a more generous amount of spread:
  
• Marmite application.  I prefer a generous hazelnut-sized knob of Marmite, spread evenly across the toast.  However, many people prefer about half this amount.
• Consumption.  The cooling process should not have advanced too far.  The toast should still be warm.  Eat fairly quickly, but savouring every mouthful.

The taste experience of Marmite is an intense journey.  I propose a standard Six Step Marmite Tasting Model for appreciating the process:

1. Insertion into mouth.  Before you bite it, you should feel the roughness of the bottom surface of the toast on your tongue. 
2. First bite. The bite should be crispy. 
3. Initial mastication.  The first chew should release warm "butter" in a gentle burst, with a hint of Marmite.  As the three ingredients blend in your mouth, the salty and spicy flavours of the Marmite taste dominate, providing the initial intense flavour burst that deters so many initiates. 
4. Pre-swallow.  Towards the end of the mouthful, the Marmite and spread tastes fade and the wheaty, yeastiness of the toasted bread dominates. 
5. Swallow. The bolus that has formed in your mouth should ideally still have a definite rough texture, which pleasantly and gently tickles the back of your throat as it passes.
6. Finish. The finish, which can last a good 20 minutes, is once again led by the Marmite, which has lost it saltiness and provides a lingering, yeasty taste with notes of celery, cloves, and tamarind.

Now I’m going to make another slice.

(marmite jar picture courtesy of ajbeanster)