A Vegan Called Bacon

Hooray, mushroom season.  I absolutely love searching out the little fellows.  It’s a gladiatorial contest ‘twixt man and fungus.  I know they hide from me, but I know their tricks.  The tasty ones (like chanterelles) send out their inedible friends (russulas, usually… that’s the slimy red or yellow ones) as decoys.  But I get them in the end. Hunting, vegan style.

Plus, you get the thrill of sometimes deciding, for a change, to select some ones you haven’t eaten before, and to try eating those, and seeing if you die or not.  For example, the other day, I picked a few Amethyst Deceivers.  And if that’s not a name to make you think maybe they’re inedible, I don’t know what is.  (Apart from “Destroying Angel”, I suppose).  Just take a look at them, they’re purple for god’s sake:

They were pretty tasty, in the end.  A nice firm texture, and a bit nutty.

So, whenever I find a new and interesting-looking mushroom, I take photos or a specimen and identify it. And then forget what it was called. The other day I found a new way of remembering them. Here’s what you do:

• Go picking with children, including an 11 month boy.  (Remembering to give all the children lots of lessons and reminders about not touching a mushroom unless an adult says it’s OK)
• Find an interesting new specimen and pocket it, separately from the edible ones
• Go home.  Have a beer and cook dinner.  Get hot and leave your jacket on the floor.
• Have the baby boy remind you that the mushroom was in your pocket by seeing him with it in his mouth
• Become numbed with dread.  Spend 2 hours positively identifying the mushroom and feeling like a dangerous fool

And it turns out it’s not toxic.  Probably.  Very much.

This season, we’ve also enjoyed some shaggy ink caps, hedgehog mushrooms, ceps, and some chanterelles:

If you’ve not gone shrooming before, the only decent way to start is by going with an expert.  In the UK, at least, it’s pretty easy to find Fungi Forays led by obsessive professors in old woodland areas, during the season.  As for cooking them, I think it’s a shame to shroud the interesting flavours that you’ve spent so long hunting down.  I prefer to fry them up in a neutral-flavoured oil, with only a small bit of garlic (if you really must) and maybe a splash of white wine.  And salt and pepper, of course.  And if you can cook them outside, all the better for that wild-man-or-woman-of-the-woods vibe.